I dreamed for many, many years to have the opportunity to share my story to more people. Although I will say as much as everyone loves the internet I think the most healing impact of sharing has been face to face. IRL as the kids say these days. The weight I carry is a heavy one. I want to be happy and be myself but still talk about the heavy stuff in my life. I am responsible for the death of an innocent young man. He was my age today when I took his life. Which in itself is a weird thing to think about. Jason was only 31 when I got into my mom’s car after drinking a fourloko, t-boned him and took his life. I was 18, young minded, but you can’t tell an 18 year old that. I thought I knew it all. What a silly way to think. Now at 31 I know that I will never know it all, everyday I learn something new and I wish I could go back and coach my 18 year old self. Unfortunately I haven’t found anyone that’s mastered quantum physics so I could do that. So my only choice now is to make the next right choice. Do the next right thing. Help other people around me to be better and in turn better myself.

It’s a lot. I know. And the craziest part is that’s only the beginning of the story.